10. The presence of the Holy Spirit in a church can now be measured by nose count and cash flow (or so many churches think).
9. Christians started going out to eat on Sunday, and now the Sunday dinner is only a subject for archeological study.
8. Now that men have stopped wearing suits to church, you can no longer tell the ministers apart from the golfers.
7. Christians started recreating, shopping, and movie-going on Sunday, and expected the church to reschedule to Thursday.
6. Sunday School perfect attendance awards have to be explained to our kids, just like black-and-white television and the Soviet Union.
5. Christians stopped showing up on time for Sunday School and church — then stopped showing up at all for Sunday School — then stopped showing up for either one — and then blamed the church.
4. Women abandoned hats and gloves and formal attire in favor of business dress, and then abandoned that as well — and now wear whatever is left over from the clean laundry.
3. Church and golf are now so aligned that the dress is the same for both.
2. Christians gave up Scriptural absolutes in exchange for cable news absolutes, Oprah absolutes and Dr. Phil absolutes, and now quote them to each other like Scripture.
1. Churches which once had pulpits and choir lofts now have stages for live variety shows and the big band era.