Da Vinci Code: The Movie had its international debut today, opening the Cannes Film Festival. The book is the biggest-selling adult hardcover fiction in history, but the movie is not getting a pass from reviewers.

There are lots of good reasons to expect this film to be enjoyable. It is directed by Ron Howard (Parenthood, Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind) and stars Tom Hanks (2 Best Actor Oscars for Forrest Gump and Philadelphia, and 3 more nominations). Good book, great director, great actor – how can this film miss? But the first round of reviews are running lukewarm to worse.

CNN reports that “critics largely panned” the film, and that “response was highly critical.”

One scene during the film, meant to be serious, elicited prolonged laughter from the audience. There was no applause when the credits rolled; instead, a few catcalls and hisses broke the silence.

The BBC describes the movie as “confusing,” “convoluted,” “long and dull,” “clunky,” and “cringeworthy.” Ouch! Hanks’ performance is “dry and uninspiring.”

Hollywood Reporter calls The Da Vinci Code an “unwieldy, bloated puzzle,” and says Hanks turns in a “remote, even wooden performance.”

The movie really only catches fire at the midway point…The movie is so drenched in dialogue musing over arcane mythological and historical lore and scenes grow so static that even camera movement can’t disguise the dramatic inertia.

Only Fox says The Da Vinci Code is “a good movie.”

No review filed so far from Roger Ebert, the critic whose taste I have learned to trust over the years.